I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
