Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize