There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize