so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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