So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
