Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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