hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you didnt know i had herpes?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
