Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
