He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
