just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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