i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
