what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize