We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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