I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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