i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
