she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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