Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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