I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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