And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
