He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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