Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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