Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
