She's JV to your varsity
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
