Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
