He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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