no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
