Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
