Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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