I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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