I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
