Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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