Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
