this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
