I CAN MOONWALK!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
