two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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