Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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