I seem to have left my pride at pride
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
