is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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