you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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