i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
