I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
