Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
