So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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