the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
