I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
