i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
