So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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