i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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