Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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