there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
