woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
