Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
