there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
