Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
