i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
