My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
