My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize