you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
