Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
