jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
