yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
