You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I'm really busy with my period
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