They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
