Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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