you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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