She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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