just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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